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Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, by Randi Kreger, Bill Eddy
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Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse
Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better—many of these “persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way.
Splitting is your legal and psychological guide to safely navigating a high-conflict divorce from an unpredictable spouse. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, therapist, and divorce mediator, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of the BPD classic Stop Walking on Eggshells, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.
Turn to this guide to help you:
Predict what your spouse may do or say in court
Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking
Choose a lawyer who understands your case
Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you
- Sales Rank: #32639 in eBooks
- Published on: 2011-07-01
- Released on: 2011-07-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"Splitting provides concise, clear, and invaluable advice for strategically navigating a divorce from someone who has narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Following the suggestions laid out in this book will greatly increase the [listeners'] odds of having a successful marital dissolution under these difficult circumstances." ---Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, author of Contemplating Divorce
From the Publisher
Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a "persuasive blamer": someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
About the Author
Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, is cofounder and president of High Conflict Institute, LLC, in San Diego, California, and Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, California.
Randi Kreger speaks and gives workshops about borderline personality disorder internationally and is the author of The Essential Family Member Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder.
Jeffrey Kafer is an avid performer on the stage and in voice-overs. He has narrated over one hundred books spanning all genres, and he won the 2008 Voicey Award for Best New Voice.
Most helpful customer reviews
266 of 271 people found the following review helpful.
If three of the last five words in this title have meaning to you, get this book, it WILL save your life
By ef
Does your partner have periods of uncontrollable rage? Bizarre behaviors? A truly astonishing ability to twist words and reinterpret reality around you? Wild mood swings? Hair trigger temper? Have you been desperate enough that you spend your free time surreptitiously Google-ing psychological disorders to try to "poor mans diagnose" what you're dealing with?
Clearly you have. If you're reading this, you're probably doing research Right Now in the vain hope of getting an answer to the one question you've been asking yourself night and day for as long as you can remember: What Do I Do?
If that sounds like you, get this book, it will save your life.
On second thought, clear your browser cache, erase cookies and search history, and beg a friend to buy this book for you so it does not get shipped to your home address. I'm not kidding. Read the title again.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
a crucial reference in preparing for a high conflict divorce
By mm
Reading this during my then best friend's divorce was like reading an intimate biography of his ex wife. I wish we'd found this earlier into the divorce. If you go through a high conflict divorce, there are a few things you might find helpful: lots of money, a good psychologist, a friend who has been through a similar high conflict divorce already, lots more money, and this book. Oh, and if you're a man and you're divorcing a woman with borderline personality disorder, don't do it in Massachusetts. No, seriously, don't. Mommy can do no wrong in the eyes of the Massachusetts family court judges.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
A must-read for anyone considering leaving a personality-disordered spouse. Do not even consider divorce without it.
By ADB
Read "Stop Walking on Eggshells" if you think you're up to the daunting task of salvaging a marriage to a borderline. Read Splitting if you want to know how to get out safely. Buy a copy for your lawyer. Read it cover to cover and make sure he or she does the same. It is invaluable.
The single most crucial piece of advice I obtained from this book is to ensure that all of your legal pleadings focus on specific, factual descriptions of your borderline spouse's actual conduct. Words, gestures, actions, inactions. Don't try to convince the judge your spouse is a rage-filled maniac by saying "my spouse is a rage-filled maniac" - show the judge your spouse is a rage-filled maniac by detailing the exact things she (or he) has done or said to you. Let her (or his) conduct speak for itself. The best advice for anyone divorcing a personality-disordered spouse is to read this book, then read it again.
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